What’s next?

So what’s next? Here I am home now for a couple of weeks already and I’m feeling a little more settled. I was a bit discombobulated at first. I’ve moved into Brigitte and Bruce’s house. (They’re off for their year-off adventure on Saturday. They’re starting in Mongolia!) At first I was a little anxious about how I’d feel living here since it’s not my place, with my furniture. But when I arrived and came through the door I had the feeling that all will be fine. It’s quite comfortable here, though I think I might have to buy myself a new mattress. My body isn’t liking the futon so much. And after so many different sleeping arrangements throughout the year…my body has to complain about this futon!

School’s next. I went in for about 20 minutes a few days after I got here just to get my head around the idea. Hok-Mei was there being her cheery, happy, loud self. She helped me collect a few resources. And then when I started to get a headache I left. Today I went in for my first real day at work. This is the week teachers go back if they haven’t been there already to prepare their classrooms for the year. As I drove into the school’s street it hit me that my year is over now and that it’s real that I’m going back to school. I’m not packing my bag in a few weeks and getting on a plane. I almost started crying. When I went into the office I told them I might cry. They didn’t have ANY sympathy for me!! I don’t suppose I’ll find too many people who would. Lynda and I were able to commiserate though since she’s coming back from her year off too and she’s already gone through the tears. “They just don’t understand how it is!” she said. It’s not that I’m not looking forward to school. I am actually. I like being a teacher and there are many aspects that I’m excited about. But I had such a great year and now it’s over, except there are so many things to share with my students and my colleagues too. So I didn’t actually end up crying. And I’m tired now after working all day!! I guess I’ll have to get used to that again.

I’ve been thinking in bits and pieces how life is different now, or how it should be different now, after all the experiences I’ve had. I’ve been thinking a lot about Africa actually. I’m more conscious about how I use water…though I still use way more than they could ever dream to have. On Saturday I did my laundry. I had it all hanging out in my yard. And the things I had to hand wash I did outside with a couple of buckets, Masooli-style. Today after school I drove up to a teacher store to get some superfluous resources, things that help make your classroom “cute”. And I was struck by the abundance of stuff. So much stuff, shelves and shelves of everything you could possibly imagine and more. Just stuff. And in Africa they have nothing. Nothing. No fancy border trimmers with scenes and pictures to change with the seasons and themes of the year. No fancy stickers and stamps and funky pencils to give away as prizes. No posters with motivational messages that disappear into the busy colour of your fancy classroom. Just nothing. I actually began feeling disconcerted and had to leave. So what’s next?

As I was paying for my fancy border trimmer and the funky pencils and the music resource book, the girl at the cash recognized me as having been her French teacher when she was in grade 8. She’s just finished teacher’s college and is looking for a position. Oh my, the students I first taught are now becoming my colleagues. How strange is that!

On Sunday I went to Trafalgar to hear Claire preach. She’s in her early 20s and was leading the service at church. Very impressive. Something that resonated with me was when she talked about transforming instead of conforming. We shouldn’t conform to what society says or others say about how we should live but rather let ourselves be transformed by how God wants us to live…justly, fairly, wholly. I suddenly feel like I don’t want those teacher resources anymore. I certainly don’t actually need them.

So this is me working on figuring out what’s next.