Facing fears

On this boat tour that I signed up for, there was an option to go diving, even if you’ve never been diving before. So on a whim I decided that this is something I should try. I don’t like being underwater. I believe it’s because I fear not being able to breathe. I think it’s ever since I had Hepatitis in grade 5, though that could just be an excuse I suppose. But I did always run out of breath sooner since then. Diving maybe would be ok because I can breathe underwater with all that gear.

Well it didn’t work. I chickened out. I could not kick that fear after all. I did a bit of snorkeling first which was ok but I should have taken more time at it. I got the hang of breathing with the snorkel and saw some cool coral and little fish but my issues there were a) the wind was strong and it was a little hard to swim against it, b) we were told to be careful not to bump into the coral because it takes a long time to grow and we don’t want to damage it so I was a little paranoid about that and c) I can’t see without my glasses on so everything down there was blurry.

After I got all suited up and inundated with instructions for diving I did some practice breathing in the apparatus just to get used to it. I thought it could work. The instructors were very good, particularly Brian, in giving pep talks. But once we were in the water and I had to put my head under and push the button to get myself to sink I panicked. I tried a couple of times but I was also worried that I was holding up the others. There seemed to be so many things to remember and I didn’t know if I could. Plus it felt like my lungs were starting to hurt and I hadn’t even gotten anywhere yet. So I chickened out. There was another woman in our group who was going through the same thing. She chickened out shortly after I did so we felt silly together. It would probably be better to go do a full course that gives pool instruction first so you’re not being pulled under the boat by the wind current at the same time.

All that having been said, it was a beautiful day. The weather was gorgeous despite it being a windy day. That made for a rough ride though and my stomach felt a little queasy at times but it was nothing like the Zanzibar ferry. We stopped first on an island and did a little bush walk up to a lookout onto Hill Inlet. There are beautiful sand swirls there particularly as the tide goes out and the sand is closer to the surface. Of course we were there during high tide so we didn’t get the full effect. Still the view is breathtaking. After that we boated over to Whitehaven Beach. Long beautiful beach with the softest, more pristine sand I have ever experienced. It was so heavenly to walk on. And the water was soft too. I went in for a swim and a lady asked me where I was from. We chatted for quite awhile in the beauty of the water. She’s from Toronto too. She lives on Scarborough Road. At one point as we were talking about all these familiar places we had to stop and remind ourselves where we were. It was just so strange to be talking about home on the opposite end of the earth. The third stop was the snorkeling and failed dive attempt. One family was snorkeling out for a long time. They were all excited when they got back, apparently they had seen many cool things including a turtle and a shark. Oh well, maybe I’ll try it another time. Or maybe I’ll just stick to being on top of the water. I’m hoping the kayaking thing will work in Mission Beach. That’s where I’m headed tomorrow.